just reminscent the time..

emm..cmna nk start ckp erk..ye kawan2 aku mmg macam neh..aku mngaku mmg aku tggu dy dtang blik kat aku..aku mengaku she is my first love..ya..org ckp the first love tu yg pling kita akan ingat..so that what happen to me... aku xkesah actually klu korg nk ckp aku neh bodoh sbb tggu dy but pliz jgn ckp aku terluka or serik coz korg xtaw the way she treats aku dlu..yes that i one time aku rasa special...klu dy nk ade org baru ke itu hak dy..korg jgn ckp aku neh xleh trima knyataan..aku da lama trima suma tu..aku lebih paham diri aku dr korg...aku xpnah nk tpu dri sndri..biarlah dy dgb kehidupan dy..yg aku pasti janji aku kat dy dlu aku cuba tunaikan..tu ja..korg xtaw n xkn penah tahu...

sometimes..

sometimes when you love someone you will do anything to please them even you will hurt... you will put yourself at the front to protect them.. you will make them happy even you will be sad...you will make them feel safe even you are not that strong...you will stay up late to accompany them even you are buzy...you will lie to them so they not worry...you will hide your pain so that they not know about it...you will not get mad even its to hurt...you will stay silent when you are hurt...btol ke?

lesson learn

now i learn so much thing in life..
first lesson is about love..sound silly yet it still a lesson.. no matter how strong ur feeling is never ever make it stronger than your brain...yes..it will affect you mentally.. never love someone with all your heart..keep a little to urself..believe me i had done and now i still paying it... never put ur hope to high..because the higher ur hope or dream the greater the impact you will feel when you fall to the hard ground of reality... never ever regret for the love...appreciate it every moment..cherish it when u still have it because once u lost u may got it back but it aint the same anymore...love someone who will love you back...never blame anyone for your failure..accept it with open heart...don't ever change for other just be urself..if someone who love you try to change u than it not u who he/she love...done typing...haha.. got to pay the love i had uae before again..haha...silly me..why can't i just move on..just why..she seem totally forget about me..she seem so happy now...why can't my heart be like her...move on and start to meet with other...why when i see other couple i see us together..why when i see ur text i feel being stabbeb...why when i see she happy with other my heart feel very empty...not that i hate to see u happy but i hate to see other man beside me who make u smile...i want to be that man..but i know i can't...i'm not good enough..when they ask me why i can't move on..they don't understand my feeling...even when i dream about marrying oneday the girl beside me still u...when i think of having a children someday their mother is still u..yes i know i cross the line but only in that dream i can see us together not in reality...i know u don't even bother to read anything i wrote here and u may also not remember anything about this thing..but this is the only place that i think i can throw all the word..i can't express to other...

dear someone

yeah..i miss you a lot..i never tired when talking about you..everything about you is interesting to me..even we rarely talk amd texting like before i always try to find a way to know about you..seem like stalker right?but i don't care at all..just call me whatever you want but still cannot let go the feeling that i had for you..you know girl your place in my heart is always be there if you ever thinking or cross in your mind that you wanna come back..i already reserve it with your name...that is your place that no one can replace...i know i may sound silly but you the first girl i ever totally fall in love...so it is true when people said that our first love is the one that we will always remember....you know girl..when my friend ask me why i just find other girl i just said i don't have to because i already had you..i know one day you will be mine...i still can wait for that day even that day is notsure whether can happen or not...they ask me why i waiting for someone who are not even think about me but they are just wrong..they don't know about us...

i know that i don't have the look,i'm too childish,annoying monster,stiff lover yang xreti nak pujuk gf sndri..i know yg i was too selfish also...i always make you angry with me but you still can accept me the way i am...tu yg wat owg rasa special..seriously owg taw owg neh klu nk dbandingkn dgn sape2 pon owg still kalah...bkn rendah diri tp realiti..haha

list of my favourite goalkeeper

1) Gianluigi Buffon-juventus,italy
2) Petr Cech - chelsea, republic chezh
3) Fernando Muslera-galatasaray,uruguay
4) Guilermo Ochoa-free agent,mexico
5) Thibaut Courtois-chelsea,belgium
6) Vitor Baia-porto,portugal
7) Oliver khan-bayern munich,German
8) Francisco Toldo-inter milan,italy
9) Dida-ac milan,brazil
10) Arthur Boruc-southampthon,poland

xtaw la knape aku minat keeper dr player biasa..mybe sbb aku slalu jadi keeper kot time men bola..even xda la hebat mana tp bley la cri mkn..haha..

happy father day

sume duk post pasai hari bapa..acik bla bca must ingat kat abah.. aritupun acik tringat sangat kat abah...masa abah g dlu acik sorg ja xda dkat dgn abah...abah acik rindu sgt2 dgn abh..bila abah kol masa acik masok blaja kat kedah dlu abah..abah smpai pggl nma acik kacak sbb acik tukar nama dlm tpon...rindu sgt2... ngat lg masa acik xmo g skola dlu..abah trik wat naek atas moto anta smpai masok klas...tp acik wat hal smpai cikgu antaq blik umah..abah yg malu sbb acik wat pangai... maafkan acik abah... ngat dlu masa abah sruh acik bwak g byar bil..kita dua ja masa tu..jarangkn kita kluar sama2..acik salu mlas bila abah suruh wat ape2..maafkn acik ye abah...dlu penah acik nges sbb xda org smbut bday acik..smpai acik majok..abah xda duit masa tu tp abah still bli gak kek ntuk pujuk acik...acik ska sgt masa tu...abah ngat lg x msa kita gurau n kitorg adek bradek gletek abah..ska sgt masa tu..rmai org ckp abah tu garang..tp dorg xtaw abah xpnah naek tgan pon kat kitorg....abah didik kitorg dgn smpurna...abah acik minx maaf atas sgala ape yg acik wat dlu...abah tenang k kat sana..abah jgn risau..acik akan tunai janji acik masa kecik dlu...acik akan jaga ma slagi hayat acik ade...acik akan ubah diri acik..acik akan jadi anak yg soleh ntuk abah...semoga abah tenang kat sana.. acik rindu abah sgt2...airmata acik da jatuh...wlau lama da abah g..acik rasa mcm baru lg...acik xsmpat nk minx maaf kat abah..acik sorg ja yg xsmpat ckp dgn abah bila abah da nk pegi..acik sorg ja xdpat mndikan jenazah abah...acik btol2 rindukan abah..abh la abah terbaek..
al-fatihah ntuk abah Abdullah bin salleh.. kau tetap aku rindui..

kenapa

kenapa suma neh berlaku.. ku sangka aku kuat tapi sbnarnya aku.lemah..lebih lemah dari ape yg aku sangka.. aku sangka kau akan kembali tp aku skali lg salah sebab kau tetap pergi..
aku xnak jadi mcm org yg kau penah gtaw dlu aky cuba jadi lain dari dorg tp aku masih dpandang sama..
aku sangka aku boleh hadapi semua neh bila kau penah tnya aku dlu klau kita ptus ape akan jadi..kau senang ja ckp aku must rilek ja..but masa aku xtrpkir pon bnda neh akan sakit camneh n aku xtrpkir pon akan jadi macam semua neh... aku taw kau mmg bersedia tp aki jenis hnya lalui hari demi hari tanpa fikir ape yg akan jadi nant..
kau bnyak mengajar aku tentang rasa romantik,rasa cinta,rasa dihargai,rasa dirindui dan merindui,rasa memiliki dan dimiliki..
aku ingat lg waktu tu masa kita mula2 bersembang kau ceritakan pada aku kisah hidup kau dan aku masa tros rasa aku xkan wat kau rasa macam tu lg tp akhirnya aku pon wat jugak...
ingat lg masa waktu aku meminta kau menjadi org yg menguasai hati aku?mungkin kau da lupa tp aku masih ingat waktu tu... kita bersembang sambil ketika tu kau menangis membuat aku rasa kau xpatot dilayan seperti tu..aku rasa masa tu aku harus menjadi seorg yang akan melindungi kau..aku ingat lg tangisan kau..
ingat tak lagi waktu kita berdua memikirkan soal masa depan yang kita dua pon xpasti..kau sentiasa ckp klu jodoh kita..aku mara masa tu sbnarnya sbb aku xmahu kau ckp mcm tu sbb bg aku aku xnk pekataan kalau tu ada..aku nk kepastian... aku ingat lagi tarikh tu..waktu tu..pagi tu...
tapi aku xtahu kenapa kita brpisah..aku xtahu kenapa..aku rasa aku xpernah bg kata putus tu..kata kau aku jaoh...kata kau aku xhiraukan kau..kata kau aku xromantik..kata kau aku susa nk plan... tp btol suma yang kau katakan..
aku bukan romantik malah kawan2 aku pon ckp aku mcm tu..aku xreti nk menghargai kau.. tapi yang pasti bagi aku kau tetap yang trindah dlam hidup aku.. aku akan terasa bila org mengata pasal kau..
bila kawan2 kita bertanya aku pasal keaadaan kau sekarang aku xmampu jawab sbb stiap soklan dorg menimbulkan segala benda yg aku pendam...
aku sayangkan kau ckup la itu kau tahu..walau kelakuan aku memang keterlaluan tapi aku lakukan semua sbb kau... aku xmarah kau mengubah aku..

aku hanya mampu meminta maaf saja atas segala kelakuan aku.. maaf atas sgala perbuatan aku..

mungkin cerita kita sampai sini saja..tapi aku masih mengharapkn sambungan cerita ini.. aku tahu kini aku hnya memegang watak kecik saja bukan lg watak utama seperti dlu..

kalau boleh aku nak tunaikan semua janji aku pada kau dulu..aku nak ape yg kita impikan tercapai..

hari neh bila aku tgok gambar2 kita dlu buat aku rasa makin sunyi..kau dlu bnyak berkorban ntuk aku..tp ape yg aku buat..xda apa2..

aku nk kau yang aku mmnulis neh bkan sebab aku nk apa2 dari kau..tapi da xda tempat aku nk letakkn semua lg..aku nk kluarkn semua neh..mgkin kau akan baca atau mungkin tidak..tapi tu bukan soklan disini.. klau kau baca pon ia xkan ubah ape2 pon..sbb aku xmahu simpati kerna aku nk berjuang ntuk memiliki kamo lg dgn usaha aku sndri..aku tahu aku xmgkin akan menang perlawan tu nant..tp aku nk jugak cuba dgn cara aku sendiri..aku tahu sukar ntuk aku tp klau aku gagal aku tahu dimana kekuatan aku..mgkin kau adalah yg terakhir dlm hati neh...krna aku rasa aku blom ckup bagos ntuk satu lg percintaan...

aku meluahkn semua tentang hati aku...jgn kau risau..aku xkan melakukan sesuatu yg bodoh trhdap diri kau mahupon aku..aku masih mampu berfikir...

tggal 16oktober tu aku akan tros simpan..

miss..sorry...wish

i miss your voice when we talk about the future when we are going to sleep...
i miss you angry face when you know i had done something wrong..
i miss your sulking face when i over teased you..
i miss your worry face when you know i had trouble
i miss your sad face when i had done something you dislikes
i miss your cheer face when you try to cheer me up..
i miss your word that make me comfort..
i miss your tear when you afraid of the thunder and lightning...
i miss your smile when we first meet...
i miss everything about you..

i am sorry for neglecting you
i am sorry for abondoned my promise to you..
i am sorry for not being there when you need me..
i am sorry for when i mad at you...
i am sorry for the person i had become now..
i am sorry for the time that you had to waste for me..
i am sorry for not knowing when you are mad with me..
i am sorry for my lack of sensitivity toward you..
i am sorry for my foolness..
i am sorry when i doubt you..
i am sorry for the moment i hurt you..
i am sorry for the thing i can give you...
i am sorry for making you leave me..
i am sorry for not stopping you at that time..

i wish i could turn back the time..
i wish we could stay together..
i wish i had realise it sooner..
i wish that i am more responsible..
and lastly i wish i had one more chance with you...and also i wish you read this...

kosa.kata.kita.

aku terima segala yang terjadi..aku redha dengan ketentuan ilahi..semua orang mahukan yang terbaik dalam hidup seperti juga kau...mesti idamkn yang terbaik..jadi aku mengerti tentang itu..jadi.tak usah kau takut akan diriku kerna aku bukan seperti org laen yang kenal dulu..aku mungkin tidak matang pada perbuatan tapi di fikiran insyaallah aku ckup matang.. kamo jangan risau ye kawan..aku xgnggu hubungan itu kerana aku juga ingin yang terbaek untuk dirimu...aku akan sentiasa menyokong kamu seperti dulu...kau tahukan aku sentiasa dibelakangmu...aku sentiasa menjaga dirimu walau kadang2 atau pun boleh dikatakn selalu aku mengabaikanmi tapi bukan la bermaksud aku xpeduli tapi kadang2 mungkin aku terlalu mementing diri sendiri..

gerak hati

yes i know you are now with someone else..but why did you hide it from me? please don't do this to me..if you let me know for sure i don't really feel like this..am i disturbing you that much smpai smbunyi tros..rasa plik sgt sbb mkin jaoh da..kamo makin lupekn owg kan? xtahu nk ckp cmna sbb owg rasa owg perlu tahu agar owg dpat hentikn prasaan owg neh...plez..

don't you remember

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye,
Not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any sins,
I had no idea of the state we were in,
I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my
head,
But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,
When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your
memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,
But I know I have a fickle heart and a
bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my
head,
But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,
Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hoped that you'd find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,
Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more
When will I see you again?

can i

berubah

ya..aku ingin sekali berubah..aku xmaw lg jd spert dulu lg..tlg bntu aku..aku perlu berubah...mungkun kerap kali ayat neh kluar dr mulut aku..tp kali neh aku rasa masa tu da btol2 tiba...hidup perlu melangkah kedepan..sperti ape yg telah kau lakukan aku juga perlu lakukan..mgkn tidak begitu drastik tetapi perlu mula dr skrg..

Question for you

bnyak persoalan yg timbul tapi xpernah aku ungkapkn pada kamo dr sejak kita bersama lg.. apa khabar kamo disana? sihat ke? macam mana hari kamo? aku trlalu takot nk brtanya sbb aku rasa aku akan jadi lemah bila dgn kamo..aku jadi bukan diri aku..aku tahu mungkin kau da temui pengganti baru tapi boleh ke kau beritahu aku..sebab aku masih menunggu masa yg aku pernh janji dlu..aku tgok kau macam gmbira jew tp aku rasa hidup aku da xmcm dlu lg..setiap pagi aku dikejutkn dgn suara kamo..bila malam aku ditidurkn juga ditemani suara itu..walau gadoh mcm mana pon tetap aku cari kamo..aku taw aku xsempurna dan aku bukan lah sebaik manusia yang kau mahu..aku sedang berusaha..sudikah kau beri peluang pada aku..aku janji xkn ulang ksilapan dulu..tapi andai kau da ada yg lebih baik dari aku..aku kn tetap menunggu..mgkin cerita yg kita lalui dulu boleh jadi satu kenangan indah aku..ingin aku katakan kau ja yg pernah wat fikiran aku xmenentu..xpernah aku rasa mcm tu sebelum neh...dgn saat kita mula knal tu aku masih ingat lg..aku xromantik dn juga xda paras yg menarik tp kau tetap trima aku...terima kaseh..aku tetap akan menjaga diri kamo walau kau bukan lg milik aku...hati aku masih trtggl pada diri kamo..kalau kau perlukan aku...aku sentiasa ada disini...walau kau xbaca benda neh aku rasa aku mampu luah kat sini ja pon...aku ska perubahan yg kamo lakukan skrg neh...kamo semakin ayu...kamo semakin maju..kamo semakin menarik bagiku..akan aku tuggu kamo disaat kau akan bergelar isteri aku..walau itu bukan kepastian tapi xsalah andai aku memasang angan2..

kehidupan singkat

tiada apa untuk dibanggakan kalau topik yg nk diceritakan itu berdasarkn aku..itu aku rasa satu kebenaran..sebab aku tak mintak disanjung diri ini cukup skadar dihargai dan dihormati seperti mana yang semua orang mahu dalam hidup mereka...kau mungkin hebat tetapi Dia lebih hebat kau perlu tahu fakta itu...janganlah selamanya kau cuba meninggi diri kerana bila tiba saat kau dicabut nyawa kau akan dipandang sama seperti semua.. ingatlah hidupmu bukan selamanya tetapi yg kekal kelak hanya waktu disana samaada syurga atau neraka kau saja yang memilihnya...jika neraka pilihan kau troskn la dengan keadaan yang sedia kalau syurga pilihan kau berubah la selagi maseh ada masa...

wondering boy..

at outside you seem like a fun boy who always make a joke around you friend and laugh you heart out but deep inside you heart it is a hole that you try to cover it up..you are lonely plain boy who try to act like you are a tough guy who can cover up that hole of loneliness with you laugh..but you just don't understand or try to act like you don't understand that no matter how hard you laugh and try that hole will keep being there until you can find the pieces that can forever occupied that hole in tht heart..i know that pieces already br found before but you seem don't care before and that pieces had drop..you try to get it back together but it cannot being put there anymore...so now you must head up and try to be more responsible in near future if you want the hole to be occupied again..let the times decide whether it is the right moment or not so for now just keep with the act of your...

another junk

the sound buzzing around my eardrum but my head keep dreaming bout something else..why i cannot synchronize both of my sense..all the thing that i do keep making me to be near that fire...the more i try to get away the bigger the force that attract me to that thing...am i losing the control or the fire is just to strong for me to resist..yeah i admit it that the fire make me warm and make me feel safe..but that not the reason that i should go near it...so maybe i can act nice with it or maybe vice versa..but still i dunno what to do... i remember that fire use to say that if if i'm leaving it or vice versa i can fine another fire as soon as i want and i said yes...but i never feel so wrong before..haha..this what they say karma maybe..or punishment or anything that you want to say...it is up to you now.. just play the game and let see who will forfeit... #anothermiserylifetoconquer